Why I got married. (The first time.)

   Recently we had family pictures take and the photographer that I had booked to take our photos was a friend from what I commonly refer to as "before", one who I hadn't seen since I was married to my previous husband. Six and half years had passed but you wouldn't have known it, she welcomed me with a hug and was so sweet, it was as if no time had passed it all. One week later I was admiring our new photos and feeling grateful for Brittany's talent when I had a small "ah ha" moment. I used to spend a lot of time wondering why I married so young and so quickly. Why the Lord would had guided me into a marriage that was probably never supposed to work. I definitely loved and learned but I've since found that more than that was in store for me. In our 18 months of marriage, I was able to meet an abundance of people who have changed my life for the better, those of which I probably wouldn't have met otherwise; friends of his, family of his, neighbors we had, members of our church in the area where we lived, ect. I still keep in touch with many of these people from "before" and I'm grateful to have them in my "now".

    Several months ago I had a good friend email me for advice, he knew I had previously been through a divorce and was seeking a little bit of guidance in his overwhelming desire for change. We messaged back and forth for a while and I was able to share my story as well as answer his questions and offer bits of wisdom that had been placed in my path along my journey. He wasn't the first person to ask about my divorce in hopes of learning something from my struggle, and I hope he isn't the last.  
    Although my divorce was hard, it wasn't ugly and it went surprisingly smooth all the way to the end. Ties were cut and we went our different ways in a very short amount of time and life continued on but I'll never forget the friends I was able to make and the lessons I was blessed to learn. 

    I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows just what I need, his timing is always perfect. I'm thankful for a sweet husband who was patient as I adjusted to being married to someone who loved me and wanted to be married. Sometimes I find myself just staring at him and silently thanking the Lord for lifting me up when I was down and reminding me that I am worth it. 

Life on a budget

    Recently we have felt a serious push to enhance our food storage as well as things we might need in case of an emergency. When we originally felt this urgency, we began praying that the Lord would provide the extra money we needed, every prayer we said included this plea and yet nothing was changing. Eventually I changed my personal prayer, I no longer prayed that the funds would be provided but that we would find a way in the money that we already make, to buy the things we need. I felt an immediate need to pay off all unnecessary debt ( credit cards, lines of credit, ect.). I called my husband at work in tears and explained that the Lord was not going to have someone leave $10,000 on our porch but if we listened closely to his promptings, budgeted, sacrificed our 'wants' and continued to pay our tithing and fast offerings, he would provide a way.  My husband agreed but was a little hesitant. We have found that we can do a budget for a bit but we quickly get burnt out when we don't see results fast enough.
     So we got started.
     Budget - I've gotten a little relaxed in the last 3 months but I was going over our budget every. single. day. I would write and rewrite down all our expenses (to the very $). There were 2 week periods where we had $16 extra for 2 weeks - this was after bills, groceries, gas, and lunches for my husband - then we would pay tithing and I would go over the budget again and we would have $50 extra instead of that original $16. A true miracle.
     Every single extra penny we received - bday $, bonuses, profit from selling things, you name it - all the extra went towards debt. sometimes the extra money was right down to the penny, enough to pay off a certain debt.
     We still have a little bit to go but we finally, after 5 years of marriage, aren't living paycheck to paycheck. We are cruising through our goal of paying things off  and somehow enjoying a budget. We finally have money in savings and an unexpected bonus and instead of spending money we finally have, we just sit and stare at our bank account.
     I testify that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we all have our lessons that have to be learned the hard way. I'm truly grateful that we are trying to live right and are able to hear the promptings from the Lord. If we are willing to put everything in the Lord's hands, he will provide a way for our righteous desires, very rarely is it in a way that we want (or think we want) but we will become better and stronger if we do his will.

What's in a name?

It was a Tuesday and I was flossing for the last time with braces, eighteen months was cut down to 14 and I was ready to get them off. I was laughing to myself thinking about the $$$ that had been put in my mouth over the years and wondered if I would be satisfied with the current results. I got really close to the mirror pretending to possibly talk myself out of getting them off that day, even though my mind was clearly made up, when I noticed something I hadn't previously. Just to make sure I wasn't seeing something that didn't exist, I smiled big, frowned, smiled, frowned, smiled, and starting crying. Apparently, I have a crooked grin. My top teeth pull a little bit to the right where my bottom teeth are lined up perfectly with my cupid's bow.
 Fortunately for this 'crooked grin', the tears didn't get very far. I heard a small whisper, one that I recognized and couldn't deny.
 "You are perfect because I made you."
Whaaaat? It's incredibly hard to live in a world where you're nearly always behind in the newest fashion trend and what's 'hip' (I'm probably behind on the lingo as well.) but I find confidence in the reminder of my Heavenly Father's love for me. Sure I'm lacking in all sorts of areas when it comes to my closet and we won't mention my make up but I am a child of God who know my imperfections and loves me in spite of them.
 My husband laughed when I tried to show him my crooked grin. With his little wink and his gorgeous smile, he told me I was beautiful.
 You see, if we pay attention to the the whispers and the kind words of those around us we'll find that our Heavenly Father's love is surrounding us, reminding us that we are perfect even with a crooked grin.